The more I think about it and work on all the aspects of this blog, I realize it is so good for me and the ‘recovery’ process. I feel like I can’t talk about any of this with anyone in my life. There are my parents and the boyfriend, but I lost all my friends when everything went south with the basketball team.

And when I do bring up anything about what happened or how it is still effecting me today, I see┬átheir eye’s glass over and tone out. This might be me over analyzing everything but I feel like they don’t want to hear it anymore. I just want to move on. I really do, and I want to be back to normal. But I just can’t. I wish I couldn’t feel anything sometimes, it would make everything so much better, to be able to just turn off your emotions. But that is impossible so I just need to get past it all.

But having this place to write down anything I feel or think feels so liberating. It’s nice to have a safe place to share things that I need to get off my chest.