Today I am sick. I felt it brewing, I thought I might have avoided it, but I was wrong.

Symptoms: weak, sleepy, pressure in head, stuffy, cough, voiceless.

My job at Ariel is ending on Monday. I’m struggling with it. Ariel was the thing I belonged to. Something that gave me interaction with people and a purpose that affected people other than myself. If the job goes, I don’t know how I will function anymore. It makes me depressed just thinking about it.

I’m not losing the job because I wasnt doing a good job or anything like that. The way the theater got the funding to hire me was through a grant. I worked for the first three months under full funding from the grant, then we applied for an extension period of three months where Ariel would only have to pay half of my salary and then the grant money would cover the other half. I don’t think there are anymore extensions, and I really don’t think they have the money to keep me on.

I would work fewer hours, I am only working 15 a week as it is, but I could go down to 10. Or I could go for less pay. I could go for minimum wage rather than my $11.00 an hour I am getting now.

I want to stop thinking about this, I don’t want to be sad anymore.